Thursday, August 11, 2005

Back to the College Knowledge

I have had such a swell year. I have survived it though and am planning to continue living to the disappointment of some folks. A word of advice to those considering a serious long-term relationship: try, to the best of your ability, to never ever build your life around someone. It's a dangerous practice. I think I would probably rather walk across lava on a wet cardboard bridge than base my happiness on another person ever again.

Oh, and another thing you never want to do is confide in a buddy who has a girlfriend. Inevitably, she will yank on his wank for him and his tongue will get all loose. The post-coital gossip phenomenum is universal. As soon as he tells her, you can count on it getting back to somebody that knows the woman you adore. At this point, take a yoga class, because you are going to need to be able to bend over and kiss your balls good-bye.

But school is back in and I am ready. Are you?