Check Your Head

Do you ever wonder who in the hell makes those big checks that you see in those cheesy press pictures? It's me. I really would like to make a pen to go with each check. You know, about the size of a pool noodle. I think those big checks need a big check book too. Who came up with this big check thing anyway? Was it a really small guy? You can't cash them. They would be way more fun if you could. I want to take them to a really big bank and get huge bills the size of beach towels and coin change the size of serving platters. I want to live in bigland.

Sanity Clause is coming to town

I snapped. Yeah. Hard to believe, right? I actually broke down yesterday and took a mental heath day off from work. Golfed. I am not an avid golfer. It was the best day. I'm not saying I golfed well, but I golfed. It was hot. It is hotter today. Today I am in the office again. This fucking place has no AC. The building is brick. I feel like a Tandoori Chicken. I want to golf. I want to do anything but sit here and put out other people's fires. Snapped. I want more snapping. Life is too short and too irritating. I want peace. Snap.