Sermon on the Mountain Lion...

Last night, as I was saying good night to my daughter we had this exchange:

Her: Daddy, the other day, down by Loyalton I saw a dead baby deer. Somebody got him with their car.

Me: Oh that's sad.

Her: The deer didn't go to heaven. He went to Animal Heaven to meet Animal Jesus. Isn't that funny? There's an Animal Jesus!

Me: What kind of animal is Animal Jesus?

Her: Probably a Puma

So I did this sketch. I am fascinated by the prospect of an Animal Jesus.

57 Skecthup

It is my personal goal to try and get a sketch up on my blog at least every other day.

Here is a giant panda playing Playstation

Men at Work... Weekend Marsupials

I started a tshirt design for a Children's program called "Leaping Little People." As per a conversation I had with the client, I did some original sketches based on a FROG theme. Someone in the organization got smart and started to think about their stuff being confused with the LEAP PAD stuff whose logo incorporates a frog.

To their concerned phone call I responded that in my head, the next logical leaping cute animal would be a kangaroo, which lead to these sketches. The client was specific about the poses of the animals. One had to have a tambourine to represent the musical end of the program. Another needed to be in the "TREE" position to reflect their yoga program. Yet another needed to be "rolling off a ball in a wheel-barrow pose" because I guess they do exercise the kids like that. Finally, part of the program teaches kids sign language, so one of the kangaroos had to be signing "I LOVE YOU."

These were presented to the client. There was a first round that went in the garbage. The more I worked on these, the more I liked them. I work with computers all week long and its really freeing to get back to a piece of paper and a pencil.

Originally, I was hired to create a logo for this client. THIS IS NO LONGER A LOGO. This is an illustration at this point. It's really a tshirt graphic.

Working this way makes me want to work on my children's book again. When I finish the final version of this, I will try and post it here. The client is also looking for these kangaroos to be animated as little bumpers in a video they are producing. That will be fun.

Truth in Advertising...

I have had this picture of two of my very close friends from college for a long time. As far as I know, they have never been lovers but this picture always looked a little bit posed (even though I am pretty sure it wasn't). It was vaguely sexual, but not in a way that I would describe as arousing... too wholesome looking... like an all american gum commercial.

So after scanning it early this morning... I decided to make it into a terrible ad. The gum was added in Photoshop (inspired by the hot job done by CYNical in her latest entry).

The subheadline of this ad "the smell that touches a woman's heart" was actually penned by the young gentleman in the picture. I'll never forget it. We were in a college ad design course together and he put up his campaign for a critique. He had done a really great marker comp, and a very slick looking type treatment. The ads were very tight and professional looking. But that tagline... "the smell that touches a woman's heart"... the class had a good laugh replacing smell with other synonyms like "stench" or "odor" and "stank."

I think it may have been eventully been changed to "fragrance" but not before we laughed so hard we all peed a little.

Layin' Some Pipe...

What is it about Wednesday? It just makes you want to slap it. I think its the spelling of it. I hate Wednesdays.

So why should I be surprised when the woman I live with calls me into the bathroom this morning. "I dropped an earring in the sink."

Crap. Into to the basement to grab a set of channel lock pliers. Into the garage, down the stairs, 10 degrees, shoulda wore shoes, cold, shoulda wore pants, grab channel lock pliers, back up stairs, into bathroom, under sink.

Anyone who has ever removed a sink drain pipe, knows there's gonna be some water in there. It is designed to hold a little bit. No biggie. a few towels underneath it and you are good to go. I loosen the connections, pull the pipe and carefull lift it up over the counter under the light so I can see.

Woman I live with asks,"Did you get it?"
"Just a sec... I gotta dump out this water," I almost dump it into the sink, catching myself and saying to her,"that would have been dumb. The drain is not hooked up, its in my hand!"

She watches me move toward the toilet. "Don't dump it in the toilet!" she says.
"I'm not dumping it in the toilet. I am dumping it into my hand. The water will drain through my fingers and the earring will be in my hand." I do this as I am saying it. It works. I hand her the earring.

"Thanks'" says the woman I live with. She takes the earring (I am watching this in slow motion) turns to her left, places it under the faucet and begins to rinse it off.

I make a noise. It was like an irritated nasal whine. It was this mentally challenged noise. I don't know where it came from. She looks at me and continues to rinse away...

I make the noise again. Five times. Finally she realizes water is running into the cabinet.

It wasn't an angry thing. It was really strange. It was like a real "Wednesday" noise. Wednesday sucks. It sucks in a very special way. Wednesday sucks in a way that is not worth describing, not worth applying words to really. It should only be protested by making noises. Wednesday Noises.

Here are Some Random Photos...

I have pictures.

Were-ing Out Your Welcome...

Preppy Girl and I got into a discussion this morning about being cynical. I have always been a firm beliver in the power of cynicism. A healthy cynic uses quick wit sprinkled with poisonous crank-ocity to deal with many daily dissappointments. It's a little like sour grapes in reverse...

BUT, there is a point where you go over to the dark side. I have been there. Its a miserable place to visit and I don't ever want to live there. Ask Princess SLea. She knew me then. I was a miserable SOB 24-7.

So anyway... the key, as in may things, is to strike a balance. Preppy Girl made an analogy about a certain type of cynicism. "Jekyl/Hyde" cynicism is pretty common. You know 'em... the people who are inspirationally up-beat until something goes pop, and there before your eyes a transformation occurs! And then... before you know it, they are back to pleasant.

Personally, I think I have a different type. I think that if I were to compare to anything, I'd say my case study is more like a "Werewolf" cynicism. Mine is usually triggered by the same thing, again and again. Honestly, there really a cure for this type; STAY AWAY FROM THE MOONLIGHT. Think I will try it.

Is that a real cure? I don't really know. I mean, I picture Lon Chaney chained to a dungeon wall, fighting the urge to even think about the moon. But as much as you deny it exists, you know somewhere in the back of your mind, your brain is telling you the moon is still there. AAAAAAARRRRRROOOOOOOO!

There's gotta be some kind of silver bullet, and I don't mean a Coors Light.

Should I Stay or...

"So you've got to let me know..."

No one is going to do it for you. The Clash had it wrong. When deciding to stay or go, the final say is yours alone.

I have boiled it down to a single question. Here's the decision-making method.

Suppose you are married to someone and the two of you have a child together. Suppose you have really tried to make it work. Suppose you have had enough. Suppose you are ready to walk away but you just don't know whether you should stay or not. Here's the final way to decide...

Imagine your child years from now, grown up and in the same relationship situation. Imagine your kid with a spouse just like yours. Imagine your kid comes to you for advice. Should your child stay or go in that situation?

Take your answer to that question, and use it for yourself.

Everyone wants better for their child. Wanting better for yourself makes some people feel selfish. It really isn't. Want better.

Stop passing on the perception that dysfunction is status quo.